definition essay reflection

1. I think that this essay, I should get a  70/100. I re-read it after I had turned it in and realized that some parts made no sense. Organization on this essay wasn't as strong as I wanted it to be. Because this essay came with no outline requirements, it was difficult to sty organized.
2. The most helpful part of the writing process would the self edit. It gave me the chance to re-look at my essay and fix anything that did not make sense. Added a few more details or deleted vague sentences.
3. My biggest strength for this essay would be the examples that I had provided. It allowed the essay to be more well rounded in the meaning of the word. The best example that I used was the one that I based on a movie. 
4. I would improve on the content of the essay. I only had I strong example, and the others weren't as strong. Improving the meaning of the word using better examples would make the essay better overall.
5.   A goal for the next essay would to be formulate all my ideas and choose which are the best to use. Therefore it can be better structured and easier to understand. Also to add more opinions to the topic that I have chosen.
6. I had accomplish part of my goal, by adding a story to the essay and making the detail really stand out. However, I did not accomplish the other part to the goal of spending more time on the drafting process because, of other after school activities.

peer review for sharable draft I

Alejandra Soto

Period 5

Ms. O’Young

3-19-14

What do you think about or do when you cannot fall asleep?

If i cannot sleep at night most of the time i listen to music from my ipod and zone out or play some very quiet slow types of songs, sometimes when i listen to my music, i forget that i have my earbuds on and fall asleep with my ipod still playing, but sometimes when i can’t sleep it is because i am hungry, either i ignore the empty feeling in my stomach or give in and head on to the kitchen to look for something to eat, so i get up,  and make myself a peanut butter jelly sandwich, which i eat all the time, it’s my favorite food, it is very easy to make and fast to eat, i can scarf it down in three minutes or less, and of course its delicious. and when i do that, i often wake up my dad because of all the bright lights that i turn on and he too eats PBJ because he gets a sudden craving for a midnight snack as well, if i really can’t fall asleep, i go to my back up plan, watching tv until my eyes start to droop down, seeing nothing but darkness then all of a sudden seeing a bright screen gets my eyes to close very fast, then reason that i cannot sleep most of the time is because i have too much in my mind or i had just watched a scary movie by myself and all i can think about is that movie, the image of a scary face keeps my mind alert and in fear of danger in my room, therefore i don’t allow myself to fall asleep until i can’t take it anymore. therefore the only way i can finally fall asleep is to let it come naturally

WRITER’S QUESTIONS

Two questions the writer has for his/her readers about this piece of writing: (These questions must be specific-- requiring the reader to recall, analyze, and evaluate your writing in order to formulate an answer. NO yes/no questions) 1. Do you feel like you have some of the same solutions I have for having trouble sleeping? 2. What part of the story do you like?

FIRST READER RESPONSE

First Reader: (Weyland) Response to questions: 1. Kinda I eat if I’m really tired but I don’t usually listen to music 2.I liked that you and your dad eat PB and J at night together

Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing: 1. 2.

SECOND READER RESPONSE

Second Reader: (TYPE NAME HERE) Response to questions: 1. 2.

Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing: 1. 2.

THIRD READER RESPONSE

Third Reader: (TYPE NAME HERE) Response to questions: 1. 2.

Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing. 1. 2.

hope

define the word: hope means that you are faithful in the things that are around you and trust all that is around you, a feeling that is positive about something that is yet to come.

lists of times of hope:
hope that a family member sees the bad in what he has done and can learn from it and see the mistake in it.
hope to be as brave and courageous as can be when trying to save a life
hope that you get what you want for Christmas

positive hope.
motivator, comfort,

negative hope
hope for something terrible, some one dies, people only hopeful in bad situation, blind you to reality, false hope, prevent action seeking something,

hope is being compared to  little bird , how its always there, a feeling

process and analysis refelection

1. I think I should get a 85 or higher on the essay because i really connected o the topic. My thesis was very strong and clear and set the entire mood for the rest of the essay. Development was very well put out, i have its in a chronological type of structure. My word choice wasn't as strong as my previous essay and didn't have as much excitement to it. 
2. The most helpful part of the writing process would be the peer, edit. As i read my essay o my fellow peers, I saw no confusion in the faces and got the idea of what i was trying to say. Feedback like making some sentences make a little more sense, so it can be understandable. 
3. My biggest strength for my essay would be the fact that the topic has to do with me, i have been in a situation that the day did not go well and realized what i did wrong to late, the narrative is true, just a little exaggerated. 
4. An area that i can improve in my essay would be to describe an object or a detail a little bit more precise. Also trying to get my idea into word and making sure that it doesn't sound awkward and or does not make sense.
5. A goal for my new essay would be to spend more time in the drafting process and to pick a topic that i feel really strongly about and that i can relate to, that i have a story with.
6. The part that i accomplished would be to create a better outline to make drafting the essay easier, but i did not accomplish the peer editing goal, i have trouble with collaborating and i need to do that to make my essays better and help others as well.

sharable draft #5

describe an important last, that would be my last year playing soccer in high school, i have been playing since freshman year and junior year was my last year, this was the last time because now i have a part time job and need to focus on that, i have had fun these past three years, going to others school, buying concession stand food, but now i have more responsibility paying for my car, helping out with bills, and keeping grades up, i have had it so easy in my life, i actually had time to do the things i want to do, having my mom driving me around everywhere, doing what ever  want, and now that i am a senior it is time to take life seriously and get prepared for college, some play sports because it is their life, i only played soccer just to have fun and that is what i did.despite the fact that my last year of soccer wasn't as get as the first two, i still have fun, i will even miss going to the locker room every day after school to change for practice, miss dragging my heavy bag all the way to the field. getting on the bus for a long ride for an away game and just playing alongside with my friends, giving each other feedback. now it is my little brothers turn to play and have fun in high school before it is time to get a job and take on more responsibility

compare and contrast reflection

1. i think i deserve and 85 out of 100 because in this essay i choose a topic that i had a very strong opinion on and really connected to. being persuasive in general is very hard, but trying to convince someone to go your way is hard without being biased at the same time. Structure is the part that i feel i did well on this time because i went in order of not time but in content, from the simplest to the complex part of the criteria i have chosen.
2. To me the most helpful part of the writing process is the peer editing. This time we did not just share our essay to one another but actually read them to each other and gave feedback with every paragraph that was read. I was able to hear from my peers what was my strongest point and what was the weakest, therefore to revise them.
3. The strongest part of my essay would have to be the criteria. i went in order from the simplest criteria to the next level and so on. I got to the point where i had to add an extra criteria or else the last one would looked like i had no more to say. I needed to to make my point even more stronger. 
4. personally i have trouble improving on my grammar and punctuation on every essay that i make. I try to apply the grammar lessons we get in class to the essay to at least improve a part of the grammar to each essay.
5. My goal for the next essay would be to collaborate more in the peer editing process so i can get more feedback. Also to make a better outline so that when it is time for the draft i know how i am able to organize it.
6. I think i most definitely accomplished my previous goal because i was very strong in this essay and used a lot of terminology that related to the essay. I can realize that the more strong i feel to the essay the better i explained it in the end

process free wrtie

1. i love to push my little brother to an absolute rage, despite that fact that he is know taller that me and a little stronger nd we are five years apart i love to make him mad, it make a boring houshold fun. first i just start by making noise when he does his homework, and if he cannot get the answer fast enough i say it out loud and he gets mad after a certain point we start to wrestle or fun

2. at work when i am on my feet all day long and when i get the chance to sit for at least 30 seconds someone else needs me just when my butt barely touches the chair, when all work is done i sit and do my charting and do not get up for anything, i let the others do it and dont get up from the chair until my shift is finally over

3. when a girl at work quit i found out that she told all the things i told her to the boss, i was so disappointed at her because she looked like a trustworthy person and always said i will never tell, after that i never trusted anyone at work again, i took a while to trust my co-workers again, i finally came through wen i found out that they did worse things that i did

4.ten things i know how to do
speed while driving
to take care of the elderly
trap a ball with soccer
prevent a person from falling
to make pancakes
to make tamales:)
to take care of a baby
perform CPR
clean the shower tub
make a painting