Thursday, April 10, 2014

peer review for sharable draft I

Alejandra Soto
Period 5
Ms. O’Young
3-19-14


What do you think about or do when you cannot fall asleep?
If i cannot sleep at night most of the time i listen to music from my ipod and zone out or play some very quiet slow types of songs, sometimes when i listen to my music, i forget that i have my earbuds on and fall asleep with my ipod still playing, but sometimes when i can’t sleep it is because i am hungry, either i ignore the empty feeling in my stomach or give in and head on to the kitchen to look for something to eat, so i get up,  and make myself a peanut butter jelly sandwich, which i eat all the time, it’s my favorite food, it is very easy to make and fast to eat, i can scarf it down in three minutes or less, and of course its delicious. and when i do that, i often wake up my dad because of all the bright lights that i turn on and he too eats PBJ because he gets a sudden craving for a midnight snack as well, if i really can’t fall asleep, i go to my back up plan, watching tv until my eyes start to droop down, seeing nothing but darkness then all of a sudden seeing a bright screen gets my eyes to close very fast, then reason that i cannot sleep most of the time is because i have too much in my mind or i had just watched a scary movie by myself and all i can think about is that movie, the image of a scary face keeps my mind alert and in fear of danger in my room, therefore i don’t allow myself to fall asleep until i can’t take it anymore. therefore the only way i can finally fall asleep is to let it come naturally


WRITER’S QUESTIONS
Two questions the writer has for his/her readers about this piece of writing:
(These questions must be specific-- requiring the reader to recall, analyze, and evaluate your writing in order to formulate an answer. NO yes/no questions)
1. Do you feel like you have some of the same solutions I have for having trouble sleeping?
2. What part of the story do you like?
FIRST READER RESPONSE
First Reader: (Weyland)
Response to questions:
1. Kinda I eat if I’m really tired but I don’t usually listen to music
2.I liked that you and your dad eat PB and J at night together
Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing:
1.
2.
SECOND READER RESPONSE
Second Reader: (TYPE NAME HERE)
Response to questions:
1.
2.
Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing:
1.
2.
THIRD READER RESPONSE
Third Reader: (TYPE NAME HERE)
Response to questions:
1.
2.
Two questions this reader has for the writer about this piece of writing.
1.
2.

Monday, April 7, 2014

hope

define the word: hope means that you are faithful in the things that are around you and trust all that is around you, a feeling that is positive about something that is yet to come.

lists of times of hope:
hope that a family member sees the bad in what he has done and can learn from it and see the mistake in it.
hope to be as brave and courageous as can be when trying to save a life
hope that you get what you want for Christmas

positive hope.
motivator, comfort,

negative hope
hope for something terrible, some one dies, people only hopeful in bad situation, blind you to reality, false hope, prevent action seeking something,

hope is being compared to  little bird , how its always there, a feeling




Friday, April 4, 2014

process and analysis refelection


  1. I think I should get a 85 or higher on the essay because i really connected o the topic. My thesis was very strong and clear and set the entire mood for the rest of the essay. Development was very well put out, i have its in a chronological type of structure. My word choice wasn't as strong as my previous essay and didn't have as much excitement to it. 
  2. The most helpful part of the writing process would be the peer, edit. As i read my essay o my fellow peers, I saw no confusion in the faces and got the idea of what i was trying to say. Feedback like making some sentences make a little more sense, so it can be understandable. 
  3. My biggest strength for my essay would be the fact that the topic has to do with me, i have been in a situation that the day did not go well and realized what i did wrong to late, the narrative is true, just a little exaggerated. 
  4. An area that i can improve in my essay would be to describe an object or a detail a little bit more precise. Also trying to get my idea into word and making sure that it doesn't sound awkward and or does not make sense.
  5. A goal for my new essay would be to spend more time in the drafting process and to pick a topic that i feel really strongly about and that i can relate to, that i have a story with.
  6. The part that i accomplished would be to create a better outline to make drafting the essay easier, but i did not accomplish the peer editing goal, i have trouble with collaborating and i need to do that to make my essays better and help others as well.